


More Than One Way to Strip a Frog

by wei



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-02
Updated: 2011-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:52:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wei/pseuds/wei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsunade likes to foil Jiraiya's plans.</p><p>Written for the verses meme at naruto_meme.  Prompt: The Sannin play strip poker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than One Way to Strip a Frog

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for shamelessly anachronistic clothing. Also, I know nothing about fashion or strip poker, but I hope the math works out.

Although no longer technically their jounin instructor, Teacher Hiruzen had never lost his habit of looking out for them (and wording orders as "suggestions"). He'd told his former genin team to take a day off - no missions, no training - with the caveat that they had to spend it with each other.

"The war is over. You should take advantage of the peace time while you can," he had said.

Tsunade thought it might have something to do with Orochimaru's tendency to shut himself up in a dark, dank lab to do who knew what. (That it might have something to do with her increasing self isolation after Dan's loss was something she preferred not to think about.)

"You two can come over to my place tomorrow. We can play strip poker or something," suggested Jiraiya, his trademark leer in place.

"I will break your arm again," responded Tsunade sweetly.

"I was joking!" insisted Jiraiya, "We'll choose activities the normal way tomorrow - majority rules."

Tsunade looked over at Orochimaru, who was pretending to ignore their conversation and weighed the risk of him going along with Jiraiya (instead of disagreeing to spite him as generally happened).

"Fine. Tomorrow morning, your place," replied Tsunade, and hatched a plan.

As of late, her mornings had become virtual competitions with herself to see how quickly she would wash up, dress, and leave the apartment that held too many reminders of Dan. She would eat breakfast from a food stall and dawdle over rice and miso soup, killing time until she had to meet her teammates for training.

This particular morning, she dressed carefully, forgoing her normal training outfit for a stylish, layered ensemble that was completely impractical for fighting in.

She knocked on Jiraiya's door, slightly late for once, and he opened it immediately, as if he had been waiting for her (or had set alarms to alert him to a person's approach).

He blinked at her, mutely. "Wow," he finally managed.

"Took you long enough" said Orochimaru from inside the apartment, "Jiraiya was going to put strip poker up for a vote without you."

Jiraiya started to sputter incomprehensibly, but Tsunade ignored him. "Orochimaru, did Jiraiya already bribe you to secure your vote?" asked Tsunade. He nodded. "Let's just do this," she said.

While Jiraiya started setting up (a deck of cards conveniently near at hand), Tsunade eyed his and Orochimaru's clothes, which looked the same as they always did. She smiled.

"Let's make this a little more interesting. I propose that however we end up at the end of the game, we have to stay that way for the rest of the day," said Tsunade. Jiraiya quickly agreed and jabbed Orochimaru with his elbow until he did as well.

Off came the gauzy scarf around her neck after the first hand. The short 3/4 sleeve jacket soon followed.

She threw the beanie cap onto the pile the next time she lost, and followed that with the black leggings poking out under her skirt.

Jiraiya was far too engrossed with watching her shed layer after layer to catch onto her plan. Orochimaru, on the other hand, glared balefully at her when he was forced to remove his characteristic robe. Despite her ever growing pile of clothes, she was no more undressed than either of them.

Jiraiya had lost his red cloak before she undraped the sleeveless long cardigan from over her shoulders. He'd been distracted enough to end up losing his shirt when she pulled off her scrunchies and shook her hair out so it framed her face.

Tsunade pulled out the belt from the belt loops on her denim miniskirt and added it to the pile. She pulled her halterneck top over her head and tossed it on top of the belt.

Jiraiya took his pants off. Tsunade peeled down her translucent tights in return. Orochumaru removed his black undershirt. Tsunade pulled off the tight baby doll T - to reveal a camisole underneath (much to Jiraiya's disappointment).

Her teammates were down to underwear when she asked if they wanted to stop. "By the way, I told Teacher we'd meet him for lunch in an hour," she added, as if it were unrelated to her question.

Her teammates looked down at their own state of undress, and then looked at her, in her camisole and miniskirt - uncharacteristic but hardly scandalous - and surrendered. Winning gave her a strangely giddy feeling, as if they were back in the days before the war, when they were still children and competed to see who could humiliate the others the most.

She was legendary for her poor luck at gambling, which made her teammates deceptively complaisant. What they forgot was that even if she lost nine-tenths of the time, it didn't matter if she wore twice as much.


End file.
